Advance warning

Quiet here, isn't it? But then it always is around festive time and its aftermath. Apologies: the work has been relentless and the paybacks few.

Fear not, for I have a plan. I'm going to commemorate the annual sober month (February these days - easiest I find) with a daily post: like an advent calendar, but in a month other people aren't doing it.

It'll be to do with music, and me. So just like every other post here, except more regular than a marching band on prunes.

Wanking In The Name Of

There's been enough coverage of the whole Christmas number one issue elsewhere on the web. So my minor contribution, written in a moment of high dudgeon, means nothing (regarding the whole 'RATM are on Sony' thing)

Such is SyCo's importance to Sony's market that he has 'points', ie a percentage of income directed his way.

Let's look at the album chart this Christmastime.

1. Susan Boyle. On Sony. Directly attributable to Cowell.
2. Lady Gaga. Up 100% saleswise week on week. Why? X Factor performance.
3. Michael Buble. His strongest album ever and no 2 on the midweeks. Multiple appearances on X Factor including the final.
4. Black Eyed Peas. Not so much... but did perform on the X Factor.
5. JLS. On Sony. Last year's X Factor runners up.
6. Queen. Enjoyed a themed week on X Factor.
7. Westlife. On Sony. Managed by Louis Walsh, appeared on X Factor.
8. Take That. Enjoyed a themed week on X Factor. Back catalogue on Sony.

That is why Cowell is on points. He sells records where few others manage to.

Now, I'm no Cowell cheerleader. I come from a place where I used to run an indie record shop in my home town, have seen a few record chains fall over as the market changed, and somehow managed to cling on working in what remains of the music business. From the above, you can understand that for me, the X Factor is a positive thing for those still trying to make the music industry work out.

Do I like "The Climb"? No. Do I think there are worthier targets? Yes.

That was hammered out on an undeserving keyboard by a stressed out bloke whose job is to make sure supermarkets sell records this Christmas. And, thank fuck, they are, at least in my neck of the woods. For which I cannot take a great deal of responsibility: I am a cog in the machine.

Move along a few cogs though, and you get to Cowell. He knows what will sell records. My job is to move records so they will sell. Thanks to how well December has gone, it looks like I will have a job for at least another twelve months, so without backing the X Factor thing entirely, you can understand my position.

My position: I am a corporate whore.

No Mo Heroes

Well, thank god for that: this morning I could finally have a decent shave. Believe it or not, this is the least ridiculous/camp picture that captures that fleeting period when I sported what appeared to be a rodent 'neath my nasals.



I can return to my irregular blogging patterns now. Last chance to see: JustGiving

Can't Take No Mo

I'm not going to run out of these puns on the word 'mo', by the way.

More reflections on the gap between the intended:

(and these are the only circumstances in which "drummer from Travis" will ever pop up on this blog)



...and the reality:



Yes. No. Bad. Still, some good has come of it:

http://www.justgiving.com/js-movember/

I really need to shave. Like I never have before. Even worse than post every festival I have ever attended, more so than the time I grew out the lower lip hairyfur to piss off the women in my life for shits and giggles. We're talking itchy now.

Still, only eleven days to go now. And unless they are reading this (unlikely) I still have some family-annoying to do. Yay!

Aimless Wineshop

I haven't gone into details about the events of this time last year. Remember November 2008? Woolworths, MFI, Zavvi went bankrupt. I was... er... implicated in all that, but didn't blog about it at the time because I was trying to get another job at that point.


I'm yet to describe on here how cack the last days of EUK were. And I'm not going to do that today, either. Instead, 12 months on, I'm going to draw a parallel to another impending closed business and the impact.

Yes, readers, despite the implausibility of the concept, my local offie is closing down.

The parent company of Threshers and Wine Shop somehow couldn't make things add up. This amazes me. Housemate and I almost lived there. Not a watertight business model, but I felt that might be enough.

On my way home tonight I called in, and immediately I was transported to another place: any Our Price, January 2004. Same situation - company clearly dead, customers have lost the will to even try to be polite whilst scalping the dead business for anything they can get. Same tonight.

Ladies arguing that the £25 down to £12 champagne should be £9. Blokes asking where the cheap spirits are. Tramps looking for cheap cigs.

The poor bloke behind the counter - the only one left on shift after everyone else had been fired - was stressed beyond belief. Poor bloke. His shop is closing down, he is about to lose his job, and all anyone wants is a cheap bottle.

I got to the counter and vouchsafed that I had been there when Our Price went down. Being 20, he didn't know what the hell I was on about.

I explained that it was a national chain of shops, specialist like, that had been ground into dirt by the supermarkets.

And then he asked me what I do now.

I told him I now work for Sainsburys.

I think he hates me.

Mo Better Blues

November the 16th: over halfway through the month, and it's fairly clear how this whole moustache malarkey is panning out.

To wit: whilst I would have envisaged something like this...



...the disheartening reality is that we're nearer this.



Bugger.

Mo' Mooey Mo' Problems

FROM THE DESK OF ANDY HEALING

Hi all

Apologies for the bulk email...

Let it never be said that I spend all my time doing good works. In fact, I suspect the last time I did anything worthwhile was Bob-A-Job Week, or a sponsored walk at primary school. So it's not like I'm always emailing people saying SPONSOR ME! SPONSOR ME! I AM GREAT AND AM ON THE FAST TRACK TO HEAVEN LOLZ!

Not at all.

It's almost by accident that I am part of something charitable - inadvertently, as the reason why I'm growing a moustache for all of November (whilst shaving my chin, cheek and jowls to prevent any goatee or beardo action) is that I thought it might irritate people around me - I'm cool like that. Also, it was a dare.

But anyway, all that aside, if you do feel like giving to the pooled fund (it's not just me, it's ten of us at work), then head over to this here website: this here website

There's also going to be photos on there as we progress through - and if I'm honest, I'm more embarrassed about being pictured wearing a tie than having random gingery sproutings fuzzing up my top lip.

So, please give generously. Or don't. Your call.

Hope to catch up with all of you soon. Let's make it December though, eh?

Andy